SLEAZEBALL

by H. Buckminster Richman.

A couple of months back I was skating home (and seriously, this was a couple of months back, because I hate skateboarding in the rain, and it has rained for like four months solid now), and had to stop at some red lights (at the corner of Old Street and Kingsland Road if that helps the story any). Some guy on his fixie pulled up next to me and started talking to me about the skateboard, and how he skateboards too (well, longboards actually, as do I, but I sound like pretentious skateboard ass when I say that). Anyway, the light changes and I manage to get going a little before he does, and make it across the intersection first, then as I am rounding a corner (on Hackney Road if that helps the story any), the fixed gear guy pulls along side me and something like ‘hey, want a ride’, I laugh thinking it is a joke and he is all like ‘no, seriously grab on’. So, I grab hold on the back of this bike and he tows me like three quarters of the way down the street (Hackney Road), before he has to turn off, and I carry on.

I’ve always seen it as this really cool gesture from one skateboarder to another who was obviously tired and needing a little lift. But, everyone I have ever told this to always says something along the lines of ‘oh, he was trying to pick you up’, to which I respond with ‘no, no, he didn’t seem gay, and how would he know I am, I don’t seem gay’, which then initiates a whole long arduous debate I usually call ‘the hipster or homo argument’. Man, is this how girls feel when someone does something nice for them?

Posted at 11:39pm.

  1. sleazeball posted this

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